Akko and Dianas Bogus Adventure
by TheHardestFall
Summary: After taking some time to heal up, Akko follows through on her promise to take Diana to find the Holy Sword! With Professor Ursula signing on to go as well, the three are set to hopefully find some answers for Diana! Only problem is the one doing the answering... Companion/sequel/bonus story for Souls Forever Linked! Its recommended you read that first before you read this. Enjoy!


Hey everyone welcome back! This is just a short piece I wrote to hopefully help tide you all over until I drop book two. A lot of people asked for Excalibur during book one, however I couldn't really fit him in, so I decided early on to write a short featuring him. He is my favorite character and I absolutely couldn't write a Soul Eater piece without having him SOMEWHERE in the storyline! Hopefully, this reads better than Souls Forever Linked, And I hope you all enjoy!

Also, a thank you to my beta, ImaginaryEngineer for giving this a once over for me. Always appreciated!

One last thing I want to note. I have a tumblr, TheHardestFall67, and per fan request I will be announcing when I publish new stories or update existing if you're interested in that sort of thing, that's there. I'd also be more than happy to answer questions, take feedback, and anything else you guys decide to reach out to me for.

 _ **Akko and Diana's Bogus Adventure**_

Nestled deep in misty mountains located in the heart of Great Britain, was a cave hidden by a waterfall that never froze. Thundering on for all of eternity, it's only job was to hide the entrance to an ancient cave.

Populated by fairies and forever in the throes of spring, this cave was home to a legendary and ancient Demon Weapon. A weapon who could pair with anyone he deemed worthy, no matter the souls' qualities. A weapon so powerful he was said to smite enemies with a single stroke. He is the weapon of kings. The weapon of heroes!

He is Excalibur!

(~○~○~○~○~)

"Diana are we there yet?!" Akko whined as she hiked up the hill behind Diana, a heavy backpack strapped to her back filled with snacks, climbing gear and a full to bursting first aid kit.

Diana rolled her eyes as she continued on, refusing to look back at her girlfriend "Almost. Akko I told you it would be a long trip."

"I didn't know it would be this long! My feet hurt!' They crested the hill and came to a stop, Diana having no issue but Akko putting her hands on her knees and panting heavily.

It was all the blonde could do to not chuckle. "If you couldn't handle it, then why did you come?"

"I didn't want you to get hurt." Akkos voice was softer now. Less whiny.

The statement made Diana smile a little bit. She knew she could have handled herself but she didn't tell Akko that. Instead she turned and walked up to Akko, who straightened up "Huh? What is it?"

The blonde leaned in and kissed Akko on the cheek softly. "You're sweet."

Akko smiled happily, pleasantly surprised at the public display of affection. She went to step forward but heard a voice from behind and quickly backed off.

"Phew! I thought that hill was never going to end!" The girls broke apart quickly as Professor Ursula crested the hill and walked up next to the girls, breathing as if she had just walked down a flat air-conditioned hallway rather than up a steep hill. "How are you two holding up?"

"We're fine, Professor." Diana's face had turned serious once again as she looked around the forest they were in. It was dark, despite it being the middle of the afternoon. The many pine trees had deep green needles and their trunks a brown-black color. Diana took note of the lack of underbrush that seemed to be around, making passage through the trees fairly easy. That being said, it also made for a lack of landmarks available for use when it came time for them to find their way back. "Also, I would like to say I appreciate you lending your expertise to this expedition, and assisting in keeping Akko out of trouble-"

"Hey! I do not- ...yeah your right…"

"- However are you quite sure you know where we're going?"

Ursula chuckled. "Yes of course! Just another quarter of a mile this way and we're there! Come on!" she waved her hand and trekked forwards, leaving the girls no choice but to follow her.

(~○~○~One Hour Later~○~○~)

"Professor, we're lost. Arnt we." It wasn't a question.

Ursula chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her head. "Well you see Diana I-well...Yes. I think we're lost."

The blonde sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her left hand, the right being encased in plaster. This was just wonderful "Akko, can you go into your backpack and see if you can find the- Akko?" Looking up and around, Diana realized she and Ursula were alone. "Where's Akko?"

Ursula turned around. "Hmm? What do you mean she's right- oh dear." Sure enough, Akko was gone.

Diana facepalmed "I'm sorry Professor, but I thought you said you knew where you were going?"

"I did! I do! Well, I had a general idea in any case. It's been a few years you know!" Ursula chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her head.

Sighing, Diana turned away and looked around. "Well, either way, we need to find Akko before she gets herself into trouble." _Assuming she isn't already in trouble._

Taking a deep breath, Diana cupped her hands to her mouth as best she could while one was immobilized in a cast and began calling for her partner.

Professor Ursula followed suit their voices echoing through the forest and startling some birds. Surprisingly, however, it didn't take long at all to find the meister. There was a crack as a branch broke and both women turned to see Akko emerge from the shadows cast by the ancient trees.

Diana sighed in relief "Akko I told you not to wander off!"

Akko, however, paid her girlfriend no mind "Diana, Professor you're not gonna believe what I found come on!"

(~o~o~o~o~)

The sound of the waterfall was deafening as the three stood at the base, staring up at it.

"We have to climb that?" Akko yelled over the noise.

"Yes!" Ursula yelled back. She turned and walked over to Akko. The girl tried to turn back and see what the professor was doing but Ursula turned her back around so she could open Akkos backpack. After rummaging through a sea of snack cakes and chips, she pushed aside the first aid kit Diana insisted on to find the one other thing in the bag. A length of rope and a bit of climbing gear.

She handed the rope to Diana before closing Akkos backpack and then taking it off her "Ok, I'm going to be taking the bag up. Diana, with your wrist being the way it is, I'm going to tie you off to me. " She turned Akko around so she was facing her "Your shoulder may be healed, but I still want you to be very careful. I mean it!"

Diana nodded in agreement "Yes, the professor is absolutely right Akko. You need to be cautious. Not only is that cliff steep and slick, we don't know how this weapon is going to behave. He could be wildly unhinged. There's no way to know for sure so please, be careful." With that, she worked on putting the gear on. Once that was done they began to climb.

Meanwhile, Ursula walked over to the cliff and began to climb with Diana following her, leaving Akko on the ground for a moment before she caught on and began to climb.

(~o~o~o~o~)

The cave was actually a natural tunnel, full of stalagmites and stalactites with a large stream running down the middle of it. Once they were safely inside, Ursula unhooked Diana and tossed the gear back in Akkos backpack.

"Alright let's go." Diana started to walk off further into the tunnel, not waiting for Akko or Ursula.

The two exchanged a glance before following. They sloshed through the crystal clear water for what seemed like hours. Eventually, Akko was ready to complain but before she could she heard a giggle and a fairy appeared. A real, bonafide fairy.

Wearing a beanie.

They all stared at her before she giggled and spoke with a high, squeaky voice "You're here to see the holy sword aren't you?"

Diana spoke with a strong but kind voice "Yes we are, is he here?"

The fairy's smile changed into the worst grimace the three of them had ever seen. It nodded and then flew off deeper into the cave, not bothering to check and see if they were following. The three all exchanged a look before turning and continuing on.

Finally, they arrived in a small cavern. Stalagmites and stalactites ringed the cavern and the large pool of water in middle. The attention of the three was drawn, however, to the two-tiered island in the center of the pool and the sword standing in the center of the rock.

"Hey Diana, is-is that him?" Akko stepped forward to stand next to her partner, the water splashing around her shins as she moved.

The blonde nodded. Her heart was pounding, however, from excitement or nerves, she wasn't too sure. She moved forward through the water and stepped up onto the little island. It was a one-handed European style short sword, with a rectangular, golden crossguard and round pommel, both of which had darker colored basic yet tasteful scrollwork ornamentation. Looking up, she noticed the air itself hummed with power. The legends seemed to be true.

Akko walked up next to her "Is something supposed to happen? I think he's asleep."

Professor Ursula came up on Diana's other side "I don't believe the book addressed what to do when you arrive in the cave. What do you think Diana?" She knew the answer, but she wanted to let the kids figure it out.

"Well, perhaps if we- Akko what are you doing? No don't touch that!"

Akko reached out and yanked the sword right out of the rock.

They all stood there, staring at each other. Finally, Akko gave it a few swings "It doesn't feel very special. Maybe its a fake. I don't like the balance on it anyways. Here Professor, you try!" She gave the sword to a protesting Ursula, who fumbled with it as Akko half shoved it in her arms and then stood back.

Still nothing. Diana hid her disappointment well. "Perhaps the legend was incorrect. Let's put it back and head home."

" _Welcome young ones! I apologize for the delayed salutations!"_ A strong, male voice echoed across the cavern, startling the women. Before they could respond the sword began to glow and lifted out of Ursula's arms into the air " _Now behold! The all powerful weapon of legend! The mighty Excalibur!"_

There was a bright flash of light, blinding the three and forcing them to turn their heads. As it died down they blinked, clearing the spots from their eyes. After a minute they cleared, and they looked around, trying to find him again. Akko looked left, then right, then went left again.

Left and _down._

Standing in front of her at a whopping three feet was the strangest creature she had ever seen. Its skin was a powder white color with arms that grew more slender until they arrived at what she assumed would be his wrists, however the wrists came to curved points, reminding her of that cartoon she liked as a kid, The Power Puff Girls. Its legs were almost like a dog or rabbits rear legs, except he stood upright like a human.

Then there was his face. His black iris-less eyes were massive and the only noticeable feature on his face outside of his nose? At least she assumed it was his nose, onnarrow topched out a good foot from his face, like one of those scary plague doctor masks.

Finally, the oddest thing about him was his clothing. While the top of his head came up to maybe two feet, he wore a powder blue, narrow top hat that came up another good foot and a half. On his torso he had on a white button down shirt worn under a powder blue jacket, which was in turn worn under a white frilly ruff. She vaguely noticed he lacked pants, however she was more distracted by a white cane he was somehow holding onto, despite not seeming to have hands.

Diana seemed to gather her wits the fastest. She stepped forward and cleared her throat "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is-"

"Fool!" Suddenly the end of his cane was millimeters from her nose.

She frowned " I'm sorry I don't under-"

He turned and walked away "My story begins in the 12th century."

Diana nodded "So its true your as old as they-"

He turned around "To be my partner you must follow my list of one thousand provisions. Number One. My day must begin with a refreshing mug of coffee with cream. Tea has been enjoyed by millions for centuries. The people of the Asian continent drink is several times a day and use it for medicinal purposes. One group of colonies back in the 1700's threw tea off a ship due to taxes being raised. Yes, nothing beats a warm mug of tea on a dreary morning. And thus I enjoy starting my morning with a refreshing cup of coffee with cream"

Akkos eye twitched."What? But you just said-"

"Fool!" His cane was in her face. "You understand nothing!"

"Hey I'm not stupid who do you think you are?"

He turned and walked away. " My story begins in the 12th century. "

Diana sighed. "Sir, if I may, I would like to discuss something with you. You see, I'm a weapon as well but I have difficulty resonating with anyone who isn't my meister. I read your legend and saw that you're able to resonate with anyone. I was hoping you would be able to take some time out of your busy schedule to assist me in learning how-"

"Fool!" His cane was in her face, cutting her off and picking away at her dwindling patience. " Provision 394 clearly states no questions unless you raise your hand!" he turned away from her.

Diana raised her hand.

"Fool!" He whipped around and put his cane in her face again. "Provision 395 states no questions are to be asked without being submitted in writing. All forms are to be completed in triplicate and handed in on one of two bi-yearly question days. Which was last Thursday."

Diana's face twitched. Akko could tell she was furious and decided to intervene. She came forward and put her hands on Diana's shoulders gently. "Come on Diana, let's get going. We'll figure it out on our own.

"Please, a descendant of Beatrix Cavendish needs no help!" he started to pace around, twirling his cane. "Resonating is the easiest thing in the world. So easy a child could do it. Yes a child could resonate with ease, assuming that child was a skilled meister. Any skilled meister could resonate with ease, unless of course he could not. In which case he simply could not. I'm sorry do you have the time? It's almost time for Provision 452, the five hour storytelling party!"

"Sir I'm afraid we don't have the time. We should probably get going guys." Akko wasn't in the mood anymore. This guy was jerking Diana around when all she wanted was help. She wasn't going to put up with it.

She reached out and took Diana's hand, leading her away and leading the way out of the cave, ignoring the protests coming from the now upset ancient nutcase. "Wait come back! I'm willing to relinquish 200 of the Provisions! Please come back! Oh not again…"

(~o~o~o~o~)

The women trudged away from the base of the waterfall and back into the woods, Ursula leading the way with Akko and Diana bringing up the rear. She didn't have to turn around to know that Diana was crushed. She would never tell the young heiress, but she knew from the get go that things would go the way they did. Every year there was at least one freshman who wanted to go find the legendary Excalibur. And every year the student would come back sorely disappointed. It was like the DWMA's best kept secret. Something to help teach the students that you don't just get unlimited power, it comes with hard work.

She still felt bad though. Diana hadn't been looking for power she had been looking for help. Sighing, she turned to face the young women a few feet behind her. "Diana I-"

Ursula was cut off by a crash from above and then a thud as something hit the ground between her and the girls, the shock wave knocking them all back.

As the dust settled, Akko sat up and looked around, trying to figure out what had just happened. She almost threw up in her mouth when she saw it.

Stuck point first in the ground, a golden sword with ornate scrollwork sat between them. Somehow, impossibly, it was _him._

There was a flash of light and suddenly standing with his back to her, was the most annoying weapon known to mankind.

Akko grimaced.

Diana, sitting up and quickly assessing the situation, grimaced.

Ursula chuckled nervously as she stood and dusted herself off. "Oh, well hello again. What brings you here?"

The little white creature looked around before walking forward and sticking his cane in her face "Fool! You understand nothing! If you are to be my meister you must learn to catch on quickly!"

Akko almost threw up again.

Ursula rubbed the back of her head and laughed a bit harder. "Meister? Me? Oh no I'm a teacher you don't want me! I don't do missions I'm boring!"

Excalibur turned and walked away a few steps, his hands behind his back. "Are you sure about that? Because you!" He whipped around and pointed his cane at her "Perfectly met Provision Number 975! He who enters Excaliburs domain on the third Sunday of the fifth year, after the bi-annual double length storytelling party, which is only to take place on a blue moon, but does not ask a single question of Excalibur is fit to be his partner! And so you, my lucky friend, are chosen!"

There was a golden flash as he changed and lifted into the air high above their heads. If she squinted, Akko thought she could make out wings. " _Thus, it is all to be yours! Victory and glory!"_

He lowered down into Ursula's hand. There was silence as the light died down and the women looked at each other, none of them sure what to do. Ursula stuttered. "But- but I don't...I teach…" she finished weakly.

The sword sneezed.

Akko and Diana exchanged a look before the both looked back at Ursula, who was nothing short of dumbfounded. The rest of the semester would be…

...Interesting.


End file.
